This blog isn’t meant to judge or tear down mothers. Every mother, regardless of her journey, deserves respect. Some women end up raising children on their own after failed relationships, reasons out of their control or maybe the man is absent, etc. Others chose to leave toxic situations and found strength in doing so. If that’s your story, this blog is not directed at you.
This piece is speaking to a very specific mindset, one that’s become more visible in today’s culture. It’s about the growing wave of women, who actively view motherhood as a business move, not a responsibility. It’s about the ones who believe having a child with a famous or wealthy man is a fast track to relevance, financial gain, or status.
Video: Jaydawayda says she wouldn’t date a man that works a 9-5 unless he’s a boss or a CEO
I recently came across a video of a popular "influencer" and her friends being asked “would you guys ever date a man who works a 9-5?” Their response was that; they’d only date a man with a 9-5 if he was the CEO or the owner of the company. Now listen, having standards and preferences is one thing, no one’s mad at that. But it was the energy behind it that rubbed me the wrong way. It was as if a man working an honest job, is automatically beneath them. That’s where the disconnect lies. Because many of these women, while living a lifestyle full of luxury and visibility, often forget that they didn’t get there on their own. Yes, this may sound harsh, but a good number of them are only in those positions because of who they slept with or had a child with.
Some of these same women weren’t building empires before the fame. Their brands, businesses, and platforms came after the relationship or the pregnancy, not before. So when they speak as if they’re self-made moguls who could never “stoop” to date a regular man, it sends the wrong message. Many men start to feel less than and young women now feel like they have to measure up to that version of "success."
Men are 1000%, a part of the problem. A lot of these guys are out here moving off ego. They love the attention, the image, the power that comes with being with a beautiful woman who fits the “baddie” look. They chase the aesthetic, but not the commitment.
These men help create the very mindset they later try to distance themselves from. While they’re with these women, they gas them up. They pour money into them, fly them out, put them in designer and tell them they’re special. In doing that, they create this idea that she’s now above “regular life” and above “regular men.”
So when you see some of these women talking down on 9-5 guys or acting like they’re celebrities themselves, let’s not pretend they just woke up like that. The men gave them the platform. They gave them the confidence and sometimes even the business, the brand, or the following. They helped shape that ego, whether intentionally or not.
Then, once the relationship is over (let’s be honest, it often doesn’t last), the man moves on to the next one, leaving behind another complicated situation. Crazy part is that somehow, they justify it like having multiple kids with multiple women is legacy or King behavior.
But it’s not, it’s just messy. It leaves a trail of broken dynamics that impact real lives, especially the kids. So no, we’re not just pointing fingers at the women. The men absolutely need to be held accountable too. Because a lot of them are out here creating the very thing they claim to be tired of.
Let’s get into the reality that a lot of women are trapping these men, to secure a lifestyle. For some women, the end goal isn’t love, growth, or stability. It’s access, money, fame and relevance. It’s bad for the man, but worse for the child who’s caught in the middle. The internet has turned this behavior into a new “normal.” Pushing these women into the spotlight like they’re the talent, when they’ve barely done the work.
Now we’ve got “influencers” whose only real influence is that they had a child with someone famous. They’re out here being praised for the bare minimum. Posing in designer fits, getting flown out, charging thousands for appearances, and looking down on people who don’t live the same lifestyle. But influence should come from impact, not intimacy.
Some of these women are living a version of celebrity, getting booked and praised not because they earned it, but because they gave birth to it.
Of course, not every woman with a child by a high-profile man is chasing clout or living off his name. There are plenty of women who may fall under the “baby mama” label but are out here working hard, staying focused, and building something real for themselves and their children.
These women aren’t using their child's father for access. They’re using their own skills, passions, and work ethic to carve out a life of their own. You don’t see them at every event, living for likes, or throwing shade on social media. Instead, they’re behind the scenes launching businesses, going back to school, investing, creating brands, writing books, and raising their children with intention.
They understand that motherhood isn’t a marketing plan, it’s a responsibility. These women don’t center their identity around who they had a child with. They understand that while that connection may have given them visibility, it’s not going to be what defines them. Most importantly, they’re showing other women, especially young mothers, that you don’t have to settle for being someone’s plus-one or co-parent. You can build something that belongs entirely to you.
At the end of the day, this conversation isn’t just about the women or the men, it’s about the culture we’ve allowed to grow. A culture where social media glorifies broken dynamics, praises bare-minimum behavior, and turns parenthood into a PR move. We’ve watched people gain influence not through talent, hard work, or purpose; but through proximity to fame and drama.
We need to stop normalizing this. Stop making it seem like the ultimate goal is to have a child by someone famous. Stop putting these people on pedestals and feeding the illusion that they’re somehow above everyone else. Because every time we reward that behavior with likes, shares, and booking fees, we’re telling the next generation that clout matters more than character and it doesn’t.
It’s time we shift the standard. Influence should be earned and legacy should be built. Motherhood should be honored, not marketed.